Archives for posts with tag: Progesterone suppositories

Today marks ten weeks. Those tiny buddies are growing bigger and stronger everyday.

We had an ultrasound today, and saw baby b moving around. Baby a was spread eagled facing the camera…pretty funny. They’re looking more like tiny people and less like blobby goobers. I’m thankful for this.

So far, everything is looking great. Both babies are measuring at exactly ten weeks. Can’t really beat that. Heartbeats looked good today–171 and 180.

Warning! Poop talk ahead! Not for the squeamish!
In terms of symptoms, I’ve had very little of anything that might suggest I’m preggers. I was super bloated last week, which got me excited over my adorable baby belly–until I had a night of rip roaring farts and a couple of good poops and the belly was gone. No one really warned me about the havoc pregnancy wreaks on your digestive system. Oh my. Constipation is in full effect, and having a poop is pretty much the greatest thing ever these days. My doctor asked what I was doing about it. Uh…waiting? I’m not a big pill popper, so I tend to just ride things out. He suggested I try Colace, which I have done exactly once, as the result was a severely clogged toilet. It was like weeks worth of waste just flowed from me. A bit shocking, really. I’m not feeling ready to open those flood gates again quite yet.
End of poop talk.

I’ve been super tired, but on a weird, weird schedule. I take little naps over the lunch hour, using my mittens as pillows, which inevitably results in Mitten Face. I fall asleep promptly upon returning home, and it’s all I can do to shove some food down my throat that passes for dinner. But then I’m up until 12:00+, which is not normal. Usually, I don’t nap but I’m in bed by ten, eleven at the latest. It’s driving my early bed time husband crazy.

My appetite is off, too. All of the foods I once found delicious are gag-inducing at the moment. I would have taken a good spicy shrimp curry any day, and yet even as I type those words, I feel like I’m going to retch. All I wanted were fish tacos last week, but now the thought of those turns my stomach. Weird.

The nausea is there, though I haven’t puked yet. I’m not generally a puker, though, so I’m not overly surprised that I haven’t experienced this particular delight of pregnancy yet.

Generally, I feel great. People keep telling me I’m glowing, though I’m chalking that up to finally opening up the new thing of bronzer I’ve had sitting around instead of using those little left over crumbs. I’m drinking a buttload of water, too. That probably helps.

So overall, things are awesome. I’m so thankful for two happy growing babies in my belly, for still feeling human through all of this, and for a pretty super husband who has been more than a little neglected. I need to do something kind for him. He deserves it.

Progesterone and Estrace stop next week, which is a little anxiety inducing, but that’s a story for another time. Synthroid dosage is being doubled Monday and Friday, though TSH levels were tested today so that may change.

NT scan booked for February 12th. Won’t see the babies again until then. It’s amazing how much I love little blobby goobers already…

In other news, anyone have any recommendations for twin strollers? I’m thinking Phil and Ted’s Promenade. The Bugaboo Donkey looks like a behemoth, and apparently, we all hate big strollers here in Toronto.

-Full Of Love (and babies) Family Van


Usually, I wait until I’ve returned home from school before I start my blog posts, but today, I’m a bit afraid that I’m going to lose my shit on some unsuspecting innocent soul during my commute home.

I thought it best to avoid that by letting it allllllll out here.

I hated yesterday. I don’t know why, I just hated it so much. My students were working my nerves, reports went home, I was dreading the upcoming parent/teacher interviews, etc. etc. Then J and I went to Ikea, which was its own special kind of hell for this infertile lady.

When pregnant bellies weren’t smacking into me, strollers were (okay, SLIGHT exaggeration). You couldn’t swing a cat without hitting a woman in some stage of motherhood (who swings a cat?!?!).

So I though to myself, “Self? Yesterday sucked a fat one, for some still unknown reason. Tomorrow will of course be better”.


Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me this week, but I am one miserable cow. I’m mean to everyone, I can’t maintain focus, I can’t do much of anything except cry (I’m so good at that!). I thought my funk was over, as I’d been feeling really good lately, and then this week came out of nowhere and I pretty much hate everything.

I know I’ve bitched and moaned about these stupid progesterone suppositories way too often for any reasonable person to care at all anymore, but they are not helping the situation. I am uncomfortable, I stink (sooooooo gross), and I don’t know if they are doing anything. J is in a constant state of arousal, and I just keep pushing him off me in absolute revolt (not at him, of course, but at how effing gross I feel/look/am acting lately).


I’m done complaining now, and am going to actively focus on the positive. Life has been pretty kind to me, and I should keep that at the forefront.

Hope you’re enjoying a super Valentine’s Day filled with loving.

-Crabby B Van

So…less than a week with the progesterone suppositories and they’ve already, shall we say, lost their shine (though if I’m honest, they never had any shine).

Any ladies out there experience these little gems? I have the great pleasure of shoving these tiny white bullet-shaped suppositories up there twice a day for 2 weeks.

Ew. Here’s where we get a little TMI, maybe…

The insertion isn’t even the worst. It’s the sporadic mini-gush from the nether region that is more than a little off-putting. Any Progesterone users out there who are experiencing the same thing?

Anyway, it’s been snowing here in Toronto all weekend (for pretty much the first time all winter!), so I went for a nice walk in the sun, then spent my afternoon making Valentine’s treat bags for my students. It felt good to do something that had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with babies or IF. I need to do more of these kinds of things every day to retain any sanity I have left.

Happy Grammy Night, everyone. Sad news about Whitney Houston. Her “Whitney” album was the first cassette tape I owned. I got it as an Easter gift when I was in Grade 2 and loved singing along. Also, pretty sure my Grade 7 friends and I made entire tapes (front and back) filled with only “I Will Always Love You”. Good times…

-Regular Van.

Progesterone suppositories – Cycle day 15 – Duration: about 2 seconds, though much squinting and squirming

So it’s Day 1 of the progesterone suppositories (PS for short–cute!). I inserted it nearly exactly 13 minutes ago. The doctor gave me some info, but most of what he says I forget in a span of 30 seconds. I am not an auditory learner.

There’s all kinds of wacky information regarding PS online, with women talking about having to lie down for 30 minutes post-insertion. Who the hell has that kind of time? Not this lady, that’s for sure. I understand the fear of it coming out, though, hence the post title. I feel like this tiny thing is just swimming around all up in there.

I am for some reason reminded of Larry David…


I have been stalking fellow bloggers blog rolls to find great blogs, and man, have I found some. I have a deep appreciation and gratitude for the ladies who have made me laugh while recounting their personal stories of infertility. It’s so easy to lose yourself in this, and to sink deeper and deeper into depression (for me, anyway).

I’ve started my own collection of links to blogs that I think are worthy of note. Take a look.

I think it’s interesting that, save for one exception, no one I know knows of this blog, yet each day I see more people are reading it. I think that goes to show that those of us in this frustrating boat are seeking out community that isn’t necessarily our physical community. This is intensely personal stuff that we need to share, but sometimes it’s weird sharing it with those close to us. Sometimes, too, strangers have more in common with us than our close friends.

Thanks infertility sisters. You are a stellar and BRAVE bunch for sharing your stories.

-Progesteroney Regular Van.