So, seeing as nothing is going on right now in The Land That Babies Forgot, I thought I’d write about how this process has affected our relationship, with “our” being J and I, not you and I, dear blog readers.

A heads-up to all of you new to the wonderful world of IF: you will start to look at sex as something that results in disappointment. It becomes a chore that no one really wants to do anymore because really, what the hell is the point? There’s nothing like a year’s worth of BFNs to kill your drive, and trust me, mine is toast.

I know this process has strained our relationship. I love J more than anything in the world, but I can see that I’m snippier than I used to be, a lot more miserable than I used to be, and way less tender than I used to be. He says nothing about any of this, and has become really good at keeping his mouth shut when I go on psycho rants about all the reasons why I hate everything all the time. He’s a great husband.

It’s so clich├ęd, but adversity has a funny way of making strong relationships stronger. I wouldn’t trade J in for anyone, especially during this shitty time and seeing how he’s dealt with it. Through all of my negativity, he is a constant source of optimism and of hope, and that in turn gives me hope (though I’d never admit it). I know what we have is a blessing, and I’m also very aware that many people would give anything for a relationship like ours. That’s something worth thinking about when I get all Debbie Downer.

Anyway, enough cheeseball for one night.

-Love-filled Regular Van.