Intrauterine insemination – Cycle day 14 – Duration: about two hours

Today was the day.

We showed up at the clinic for 7:00 AM in an effort to be one of the first IUIs of the day (first come, first served). J procured a sample of swimmers first thing, while I went for a TU (no blood work today–good thing, as my arm is resembling a junkie’s). We had about an hour to wait while the sperm was washed and ready, so we went to get coffee and a bite to eat.

When we got called, we went into Insemination Room 2 (it’s so “Handmaid’s Tale” it’s kind of creepy), and waited for about 15 minutes for the doctor to arrive. It was really nice to have J there with me today. I joked that if this one “took”, at least we could tell our future child that he was actually there for conception.

The doctor came in and chatted with us about the latest test results. He gave J glowing marks for superb sperm (as if that guy needs to be told he’s great at MORE things…), and was pleased with the development of my follicles (not quite as excited or complimentary–I’m used to living in the shadows). He walked us through the procedure and then knocked on the tiny door that I guess connects to the sperm bank. He called my name, and a little test tube appeared. The doctor joked about also requesting a burger and shake, and J made some inappropriate comment about the sperm being the shake (…sigh…), and I was once again happy that he was there to lighten the mood. I was in a good mood, don’t get me wrong, but it was nice to have some levity.

The doctor inserted a speculum and a very thin catheter into my uterus, and popped the sperm in there. He told me to put my feet together, as I was “surging” (“Your vagina is sweating”, he let me know. Greaaaaaaaat…sounds good.). I popped my bum up so he could slip a puppy pee pad under my butt to catch my…vagina sweat?

I was ordered to lie there for 5 minutes, and J was good at keeping me down for the full 5 minutes.

So poof! went the doctor, and we waited.

He prescribed progesterone suppositories for me to take for the 2 weeks leading up to my blood pregnancy test in 14 days. I get to shove these little white things up my cootchie twice a day for the next 14 days. Oh heavens.

So 2 weeks. I’m entering the nail-biting 2-week wait filled with hope, but not too much hope. I am confident that every step we are taking is leading us closer to answers that will ultimately help us in the end, so nothing is lost in all of this.

I so hope this is it, but if it’s not, it’s not the end of the road, and certainly not the end of the world. We can do this!

-Sperm-filled Regular Van.