Cycle monitoring – Cycle Day 3 – Duration: about half an hour

I’m writing this blogpost from a tasty breakfast place near my fertility clinic. Their logo is a smiley sun, which is exactly what I need to see right now.

I had a hard time at my cycle monitoring appointment today. I haven’t been so close to tears with the doctor since our first appointment. It didn’t help that the lab tech taking my blood is 7 months pregnant, or that my doctor looked genuinely sorry for me when he saw me again.

I think he sensed my desperation when I asked what else we could do to get this thing going. He mentioned male vitamins, but said he only really suggested those for guys with low sperm counts, which is not my super spermed J.

“It’s all me”, I said, half joking.

We came up with a plan, though. All is not lost, and he told me each cycle tells us things, in my case, positive things. I responded well to the Clomid, my lining thickened up nicely, everything was in track.

He took more time than usual today with my chart, which I appreciated. We talked about my thyroid, and thought maybe it was time to look at again. U have a sneaking suspicion my prescription is going to get bumped up, as I feel no different than I did before u started the meds.

He talked about antibodies and how these suggest something potentially autoimmune going in inside me. Not sure how I feel about that, or what it could be, but I’m not overly surprised. He suggested I start a daily regimen of baby aspirin, so that’s been added to my ever-increasing pill box.

Clomid starts today with two pills, same dose as last month. Next step if things don’t change by June: laparoscopy.

I feel emotionally exhausted. I can see it in this post, I can feel it in myself. The sadness from the failure of last month’s cycle is lingering, and I’m not sure how to shake it.

Meh.

-Sulky Regular Van.

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